In another world, I would have handwritten this note, but as the digital era dictates, this will do, the blog awaits.

Early morning of 14 November 2015 I woke up having such a heavy conversation with your beloved daughter Monthati. She was tired of losing people she loves/ friends at such a young age, one after the other.  Not knowing what to say, and sharing her sentiments, I told her that indeed, this is not how it is meant to be, but we have to come out strong throughout the losses we experience, for it is nothing we can control. It felt like just another chat.

At the same time I was debating what to post on Instagram as it was your birthday. I had to decide on a picture, and then come up with a caption, well; the latter was rather easy for me.  I knew what I was going to say. I looked at a picture of myself holding our beloved HRH Masakona, giving him a kiss on the cheek and him looking into the camera, your words ringing at the back of my mind “ohh he is not fighting you, Aunt Nambitha was just here and he was being a rascal”.  Then I looked at another picture of  me and you at DIFF and I thought ahh it’s beautiful we are all smiling, a fave! Our picture is the one that ended up making it on the Instagram page and I knew that celebrating your day one truth remains:         

You are real.  You are an incredible mother; your children are different yet to pay attention to every one of them and know exactly what the other needs, what they are good at individually. This made me love you even more.

 I am certain that I mentioned it on the email I sent you that morning.

Few hours later, I get a message saying Masakon is no longer with us, at first hearing this came to mind “F*ckoff Monthati” but then I had to keep calm, process it all before responding, she wouldn’t just joke about something like this. I started replaying the events of the day, the conversations, it all just did notmake sense. 

I was scared, I knew how much you loved Masa, how much he meant to you. I thought you’ll lose your mind…I will say something you detest hearing, but your strength comes from a deeper source. You kept rising again and again and you still do.

It did not surprise me to see so many people reaching out to you after Masakona’s passing, sharing stories of how they have lost their beloved children in the same manner, as much as we may not understand why it happened, part of it is that, you will heal our nation, I have no doubt. As the pen did the healing for you, your words will do so for many mothers out there, not only for those whose children departed in the same manner but for anyone who have lost their own.  And for the rest, we will find words to comfort ours with yours. Thanks for sharing #TheHeartKnows with us, it is a deeply moving collection, honest and healing. 

~E.N